I'm a zombie that don't know how to dance right

I didn't think it was possible, but the spider I mentioned earlier has grown larger. If he continues to grow at this rate, his abdomen will block out the sun, thereby eradicating all life on earth. That, or he will suck the earth dry to satisfy his insatiable hunger, not unlike another colossal entity I could name.

Killing him at this point is out of the question, as his carapace has likely hardened to such a point as to be nigh-invulnerable to anything short of atomic weaponry. I ask for your forgiveness, should the worst come to pass: I lacked the courage to destroy him when it was still possible to do so.

It’s Halloween tomorrow, and my first here at my current job…where it is taken very seriously. Not “very seriously” as in “we very seriously don’t want you to dress up”, but “very seriously” as in “there’s a company-wide competition for the Best Costume (Individual and Department), Decorations, etc., and you had better take it very seriously, or we’ll put a cigarette out in your eye”.

This is a bit disconcerting for me, since my costumes the past few years have been fairly lame. I attribute this to the fact that I can no longer trick-or-treat, thereby eliminating any impetus to actually put any effort into the process. Never mind that I’m a grown-ass man now, and can readily go out and purchase as much candy as I want (Reese’s Pieces, why do you taunt me so?!). That’s no fun at all. It’s the process of actually running around for hours at night dressed as whatever the hell took your fancy, knocking on the doors of strange houses and requesting as much sugar as they’re willing to give me...that’s what made Halloween fun for me. The costume was just the uniform required.

Peace!