Cards and Chips

So, my computer needs an upgrade, which I'm kind of pissed about.

I have no reason to be pissed, really. My computer has served me well and faithfully for a few years now, with hardly any serious issues or complaints. The reason I'm pissed is...well, fixing computers triggers a programed reaction in my psyche; namely, I get frelling pissed as hell for no reason whatsoever.

I think it stems back to my childhood, when my father (in his infinite patience) would howl and scream and curse whenever he was forced to fix our computer (which was typically my fault, whether it was or not). One memorable example of said behavior is when he bought a modem. This modem would not fit in the computer, now matter how hard he pushed it. He was on the warpath for two whole days, and God help you if you tried to talk to him. As it turns out, he didn't have the proper slot for said hardware, which he found out when he stormed back to CompUSA and demanded a refund. Needless to say he was embarrassed, and I don't think anyone would be surprised to find that this did not make matters any better at home.

Since then, whenever my computer does something "finicky", my heartrate immediately leaps into the stratosphere and I have an unreasoning desire to break something/one. Which is a problem, since working on a computer when you're hopped up on adrenaline is fairly difficult. Whenever I fix my computer, my girlfriend finds and excuse to be as far away from me as possible. I can't imagine why.

But my video card is outdated, and is dying in any case. I get all sorts of lovely error boxes, and just yesterday it started in with a lovely new habit of not refreshing my screen properly. Just lovely. I also could use some RAM, as games nowadays require at least 1 gig to run smooth.

I've also been eyeing the XBox 360. There's a lot of games I want on it (Gears of War, Dead Rising, Chromehounds, Ghost Recon, etc.). The problem is that I have heard a legion of complaints regarding it's hardware quality, and that it has a nasty overheating problem. I'm not sure I'm willing to pay $400 for a box that'll crap out on me in under a year. I also don't have an HDTV, which I hear can be a problem with some of the games.

I wish the Wii had some damn games come out for it. Not to be cynical or anything but, you know, Nintendo hasn't actually put out a new game since, what, Animal Crossing? Super Paper Mario looks cool but, let's be honest, I've played Paper Mario. Is it different enough to constitute a purchase? Probably not. I'm still a little pissed about Zelda: Twilight Ocarnia Princess of Time. Long story short: I'm getting sick of remakes. No, even more, I'm getting sick of remakes that take three years to come out. WHERE ARE THE FUCKING GAMES, NINTENDO?! You promised me, promised me, that this wasn't going to happen. You promised me that you'd change, that you wouldn't get all fucking Gamecube on me.

You promised me games, you bastards. And they aren't here.

"But Canary," I hear you object, "be reasonable! It's only just come out! Give it some time!"

To which I reply, "Fuck that. I payed $250 for this machine, and I've got nothing to use it for. Even the PS3 has Virtua Fighter! What do I have? Shitty Nickleodian licenses! And let's not even get started on the Wii's much-vaunted online capabilities! Care to guess how many games you can play online? I thought not! And don't you dare bring up the Virtual Console. That's a whole other blog post!"

I'll tell you what. If I don't get some Smash Bros. by the end of the year, it is on. It is on like Donkey Kong.

Oh, and I want this. So bad. And that makes me a bad person.

Manhunt is the type of game that is infinitely more entertaining if you play it with another person. Without an audience, it loses much of its luster.

That's good for now, I think. Peace!