Mass Effect (REVIEW!)

Happy New Year!

So, Mass Effect.

I beat it last night, clocking in just under 30 hours, with most of the game completed (as is evidenced by my Completionist achievement).

This is a hard game to review, because it is by turns both good and bad.

The Good
The game is large. It's fun to play. There's a lot of good dialogue (which, being a whore for such things, counts as a plus in my book) that is all competently voice-acted. There are interesting characters, some of which have awesome advancement. Hot alien chicks. Tons and tons and tons of backstory; Bioware has created an entire galaxy, and they want you to know about it!

Oh, and it has a good ending. I mean, they leave plenty of room for a sequel (surprise, surprise), but I was pleased with how it ended. Thank God. I'm getting really freaking sick of shitty endings.

The Bad
The game suffers from some irritating bugs, including one that tends to freeze up your system. Texture pop-in is glaring, though the game is otherwise gorgeous. Uncharted world exploration is fun at first, but recycled maps and frustrating travel make this endeavor boring towards the end of the game. Sniper rifles are practically useless until the end game, when they suddenly become engines of incalculable destruction.

It's also slow paced. The sense of "What's the hurry?" permeates the game, but is directly at odds with the plotline, which focuses on the idea of "Save the galaxy NOW! Before it's TOO LATE!" Basically, it tells you to hurry up and slow down. Which can be frustrating. Sometimes you just want to shoot some goddamn aliens.

Oh, and the romance subplots, which are rarely good in any game, are particularly bad in this one. Apparently, all you need to do to form a solid romantic relationship with a person is to have a three-minute conversation once every twelve hours or so. So long as you don't punch them in the face or something, you're bound to get laid. I wish someone had told me this earlier!

And why is almost every NPC in the game a son of a bitch? God dammit, I wanted to shoot 90% of the people I met! What makes these people think that sass-mouthing a heavily-armed man that has a goddamn license to kill is a good idea?

Overall
Honestly, I'm having trouble rating this game. I mean, I loved it. It was a blast. At the same time, there are about a million little problems with it that drove me mad with frustration while playing it. If the rest of the game wasn't so fan-fucking-tastic, I'd write it off as a waste of time. But it's not. It's a good game that could have been better had they delayed it for another month or two.

Mass Effect is a love song to the RPG fan. If you like RPGs, I can pretty much guarantee you'll like this game. If you don't, stay the fuck clear. It will drive you mad with frustration. As I typically sit firmly on the fence on this issue, I'm a bit conflicted in feelings.

If you like RPGs, and you've got an XBox 360, I'd say give it a spin. You'll probably enjoy yourself.

If you don't like RPGs, just stay away. This game isn't going to convert you.